thanks everyone
I did talk with my nurse, and altho I still very SOOO guilty about everything she is such a great support and helped me put things into perspective. She pretty much said the same as you guys did, so now I need to say it to myself and believe it... easier said than done of course! Venting did make me feel better; now I just gotta keep on venting and getting those negative feelings out in a positive way... also easier said than done. But hey, at least I know I got you guys to turn to when the going gets tough
Again, thank you
xxx irish