so there is this guy.. he is much older than me, 50+ but he looks 40, im in my late 20s
i feel like i love him but he has no idea, and the problem is that he already has a gf, he was divorced before so this is a newer relationship since the past few years i guess, i think shes close to my age maybe a couple years more, and shes really beautiful. it makes me feel like im not good enough for him sometimes but i try not to think that way.

i thought the feeling would pass but its been a year and i still think about him a lot and the feelings are really strong. i know hes old but actually he doesnt look old. he looks years younger than george clooney, david duchovny, and a lot of other actors in their 50's that younger girls like. and he is still in pretty decent shape.

he has soft brown hair (he has all his hair still), gentle eyes, his arms are really fit, i want to touch them. hes very respectful, kind, and any other good things that you can think of.
its not that i want to spend the rest of my life with him or anything like that, i know that wouldnt work out.

but i do want some things with him, badly, and i dont know if i should tell him or not. i think about him a lot.. sexually. but also i want to travel with him and go to nice dinners to him, talk to him and have him take me out to different places. but i think i would take a sexual relationship, or maybe i think this way because im afraid that anything more than that is even more impossible.

i dont know why, but there isnt any guy my age that i have felt the same way about. most of my friends growing up have been guys, if i ever had any friend at all.

i wish that i could tell him how much i want him and what i want to do with him, but i think that he his natural reaction might be to avoid me, and i dont want things to get awkward. hes not the cheating type, hes very respectful to everyone. but i wish that i can tell him that i wish that he can do something with me before he dies, maybe he'll live another 10 years or so. do you think that i should tell him, and what do you think that he will say if i told him that?

sometimes my mind wanders and im just sitting around and then suddenly my thoughts go to him. i think about him taking me out, even us being in public and what we might look like together (maybe some people will think its strange that im with someone older, but actually he doesnt look old.. he "looks" 40"). and i want to do some things to him, sexually, and i want him to do some things with me, and i just think about some things like that. i think about what his touch would feel like. when he was younger he was really handsome, and he was on some sports team, i think wrestling and stuff. hes a "big guy", and im small compared to him.

he lives in another state, but i email him about once a week. it really hurts every time that i think about him and that we cant be together, but i dont want him out of my life. i dont know why i torture myself, that id rather have him in my life, even though it hurts so much. i hope that one day that he will break up with his gf, and then maybe i can tell him then.

but if a guy has a gf, and he isnt going to cheat on her, what would his reaction be if another girl confesses to him how much that she likes him and wants to have sex with him, that she wants him and what she wants to do with him, and tells him things like that? will he avoid her or will he agree to it? do you think that its still possible to talk without it being awkward if i told him these things?