bubsmiley, it sounds to me like you're enjoying the exhilarating feeling of being at last in control of your sexual self. You're taking ownership! Enjoy that feeling, nurture it; fantasize, flirt, and relish your ability to feel excited without any negative or hurtful input. (that might be why the married men are extra alluring, too: their unavailability is safe)

Just please be careful with yourself, too, and make sure your head is in charge if you choose to act on it.