You are also describing Borderline Personality Disorder and you might want to research that too.

Whatever labe gets applied, the important thing is the quality of your life. I hope you will reconsider a therapist, particularly one who specializes in personality disorders. Your first visit can be used to espress your concerns about privacy and diagnosis. It might be quite a relief for you to have someone to talk to about this, to share the burdens, to give you support, empathy, to teach you skills, to increase your awareness, to help you feel much better.

((HUGS)) and I'm so glad you posted.