Thanks everyone for the comments!

It has helped me to understand it better and I talked about it with my t.
I understand it a little better but still find it painful that this Alter has the same name as one of the abuser. that feels weird and difficult it is a name and person I want to forget and now he is in me......
I know it's not the real abuser but he himself thinks he is and one of the young alters thinks that too. And what I find difficult is that she is very attached to him even though he hurt her, she thinks she has no one else.

Bloem