I raised a couple of issues from last week:
1. That I’d asked him for encouragement and he hadn’t given me any.
2. That I was a bit annoyed that he was putting his fees up so soon in our relationship.

Encouragement

He said his reply had been that we were going to do a couple of “interventions” and that I appeared encouraged by that. Therefore he thought he had given me encouragement. So far, exactly like Madame T.

But he also asked what sort of encouragement I wanted. I said I wanted him to spell that he could help me, that he had confidence that I would make progress, stuff like that. He said that he would be sure to give me that in future. This is precisely where Madame T digs her toes in.

He asked who else encourages me and how, verbally or non-verbally. I talked about my boss and my wife. It’s mostly verbal stuff, but they also demonstrate by deeds that they trust me.

Later we talked about abandonment, and he asked what is the opposite of abandonment. That was easy: it was everything Madame T refused to give me. I wanted her to be warmer, softer, more supportive and encouraging.

Fees

We talked about fees. I don’t mind paying for therapy. Therapists have to make a living and the worker is worthy of his hire. What annoyed me was that therapists can put their fees up whenever they like and my own salary still hadn’t returned to what is was in 2007. In fact, I’m back with an employer who was paying me more in 2001 than he is now, with essentially the same duties.

Mr T assured me that this was his first increase in five years and it would be by only 10%.

Endings

I read a page of notes I had made about endings. We talked about that and Mr T said that people do tend to remember how a relationship ended rather than how it was.

I also filled him in on the departure of a valued workmate. I said I was worried and guilty that I didn’t feel sad enough or angry enough. Have I no spirit left?

Affirmations

We did a breathing exercise and chose an affirmation: “I am still the best”. I said I was going to put the affirmation on my bathroom mirror and also carry it in my wallet. Mr T says he carries his assertions in his wallet too.