My "friend" was a waste of time. Told me "I can't help you if you can't help yourself". Now isn't that a contradiction?? If I didn't need help I wouldn't be asking.

I know this going to take our friendship back 5 steps, but I probably should have known better. She is a low person. Very quick to ask me for help.

I do have a T and I see her later today. I cheat myself with the meds and cannot bring myself to hand them all over. I rely on the crutch too much. Took one Ativan and a Klonopin last night after a beer and 1.5 glasses of wine. I was extremely irritable before I managed to all asleep.
I just couldn't stop myself. I guess I wanted to be in control of something. I know I hurt myself like this. I was feeling depressed and lonely