This past week has been hard. Last Monday my husband tried to kill himself because of his chronic pain. And my anxiety/panic has been through the roof. I cant keep food down. I jump at every little noise, my temper is short and Im always angry. Im getting as bad as I was 3-4 years ago when I lost my temper and actually broke someones nose. I havent been to my pdoc since Nov of last year cause my insurance lapsed. I got it all straightned out and had an appt this morning. The doc wrote an order for a drug test at the local hospital before he could give me any med, even my Ssri. Well even if I had my drug test today, it would be another month before my ins will pay for another pdoc visit. So Im outta meds this time. My doc said unless I could pay $50 out of pocket, that he couldnt do the in office drug screen cause the ins wont pay for the in office kit. This is so messed up. My doc kept saying "youre unstable. Youre unstable.". But he wont give me any meds to stablize me again. Not even a non narcotic!!! I dont know what to do. My mind is going 100 mph. Ive had a headache for 6 days now from my nerves. I feel nausous to the point of not eating. I dont know how much longer I can go on before I completely lose my mind.