It is not about blaming others or ourselves for our difficulties. We learned things a certain way, did things (like how we eat) for a certain reason and relearning better ways when we are older and the problem no longer exists (other people trying to control us; giving us too narrow a window to be ourselves) is extremely hard.

I love the thought: "Fix the problem, not the blame". We have to constantly make choices, that's what life is about, and when we are young and relatively ignorant of experience, the choices aren't going to be well informed. They aren't "wrong" or "bad" and you cannot learn except from mistakes, so don't bother with deciding you are "no good" or bad and blame-worthy, disgusting, etc. all those negative self evaluations; everyone is in the same boat (with being young and making choices that don't work well for them later).