Hey Mack2!
WidowReynolds55 here. I totally get where you're coming from about not being able to find your independence anymore. I am almost 55 and since my husband passed away in January, I have no job, no income, no idea what in the world I'm doing half the time! My mom and sisters have been helping me out financially way more than I am comfortable with but right now, I really don't have a choice but to accept their help. Jobs are scarce...whenever I can haul myself up off the couch to get out and look for a job. Doc put me on Adderall and that helps me a lot with the lack of energy thing, but the truth is, I like being a homebody..being domestic. I took care of husband and kids for so long (and worked a public job, too) that I'd just as soon remain domesticated. I, too, really don't want to have to depend on meds to act like I'm alive, but right now that's just the way it has to be. I feel pretty useless and not needed since hubby passed and kids are moved out and have their own lives. They are wonderful kids, tho! I'm very lucky in that respect. I just hate that I don't have money to help them out when they need it. But I try to help them out in other ways. But anyways, i just wanted to pop in and reply to your post and tell you this terrible cliche saying....that things could always be worse! (I really hated to say that!) But it's true. I've learned to just try to take each day as it comes and remember....everyday above ground is a good day! Many hugs to you!