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Like many I come from difficult family circumstances that have resulted in long term emotional struggles, some of which I don't really understand. I was abandoned by my mother, suffered neglect and emotionally abuse by my father, and generally had a big mess to emerge from which I've worked over the years. However I seem to have a pervasive jealousy and possessiveness over the men in my life that isn't healthy and causes a lot of heart ache - to myself especially.
Nothing is ever easy or straightforward when it comes to emotional issues. I feel envious of others in so many ways and it's not a pretty feeling or attractive quality. I do my best to hide or negate it, succeed in my own right, but in relationships I get a 'this is finally all mine!' feeling that makes it difficult not to feel threatened if my significant other gets close to someone else. It's not sexual jealousy where I think I'm going to be cheated on, but emotional possessiveness that makes me feel threatened by others. I think because I was so neglected in relationships that I crave all of the emotional attention someone else can possibly give. I'm only like this with my spouce, no one else.
The men in my life have never given me cause for insecurity or fear, so the jealousy is a 'delusional' jealousy rather than based on anything real. My reactions sometimes befuddle me and I often feel like these jealous outbursts aren't 'the real me'. If that makes sense.
Anyway, this is a really long post for I guess what is a simple question. For others like myself who've been abused and abandoned if you have a 'delusional' jealousy that is damaging your self-esteem and hurting your relationship are there positive ways you've learned to cope/overcome it?
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