Hey thanks for all the replies, I rely on my parents and family when I'm in meltdown ( just about every week) they help look after my daughter since she was about 11 months old, she's now 9. They take care of her when I'm in hospital. I'm pretty useless around the house when it comes to DIY so my dad helps out there. The often help me financially. The list goes on. I have never been unmediated since I was diagnosed, closest I've been is to stop quetiapine which resulted in a 4 month hypo followed by a serious crash ending up in hospital. I would love to stop all my meds but my family would go mental. I take 1400mg of lithium so that would take a long time to come off. I'm pretty unstable on meds so the thought if none worries me.
I literally don't stand on my own feet and take ownership of my life, I would never cope I do manage with my daughter most of the time but my ex has recently moved out and none of us want my daughter to be the first person to be aware of it. I'm lost because I had a great job 10 years ago. I used to teach, now my memory is gone and my nerves. I just don't know who I am anymore and if I over analyse it. I don't like what I've become