Can totally relate. Going through this myself at the moment. Seems like I have also been suppressing my feelings and then they explode like a pressure cooker. I have been asked to try and identify my feelings in certain situations and with regard to certain issues and it is so hard for me to find them. The only feelings I can clearly identify are anger and fear. When I sat and thought long and hard and used a list of emotions I found some that best described how I felt. They included humiliation, embarrassment, self doubt, frustration, disappointment, etc. They were all the emotions that I felt in the minutes leading up to my explosive anger outburst in response to something my narcissistic husband did. I have been blocking out my emotions since I was a child, since it seemed easier to just pretend they weren't there. It now explains why I can be totally fine for most of the time until something (usually the husband) triggers the emotional eruption. I feel like an emotional retard and am finding this really difficult to deal with. Facing up or acknowledging your feelings/emotions takes courage for people like us who have spent years shoving them into the inner crevices of our minds. Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed with emotions I also tend to disconnect which is another protective learned behavior. That's when the brain goes numb and non-reactive and everything feels a bit surreal. I also think a lot but I think about issues rather than feelings. I'm a good one for thinking long and hard about an event, its causes, the outcomes, future, etc. I now realize that I am thinking a lot about everything except what is going on inside me or in other words how I feel. Makes sense that we end up exploding. Good luck and hope this helps you feel less alone (now that's a feeling). Ask yourself how you felt after reading this just as an exercise.