I never got into the calorie counting.....I would just limit what I ate to when right before I feel full, I quit eating.....have always been that way because when I was growing up, would go out to eat with my parents & my dad would get the left overs & kept asking me if I didn't just want a little more....so I would.....by the time I would get home, I was feeling so sick from eating too much, I would promise myself that next time I wouldn't be talked into the extra food.....when I'm full, I'm full.

My mother got into the calorie counting, but I never could figure it out, so it was easier to just NOT EAT than to figure out the amount of calories I was eating.....if I ate more one time & less another....it would all average.

I can relate to the not suicide thing.....when I was 44 & major depressed, & the suicide attempts didn't work.......thought that anorexia wouldn't cause my daughter to feel the same stigma as if I would be successful with a suicide attempt.....went through that for years........then it just went away.

Stress is my major trigger for not eating.....& mid-terms & finals in college were major triggers......now in life, other things have become even worse triggers & I have ended up in the medical hospital with the anorexia & IV nutrition to stay alive......it's not a good thing to get to that point, but long term stress was what pushed me to those places.

None of it had anything to do with body image.....but the ED treatment facility I went to tried to cram the body image issues on everyone......which basically turned me off to their treatment & I wasn't at the point where I knew or even understood what was really going on with myself at the time.....just knew it wasn't body image even though I never wanted to get to the same overweight that my mother & grandmother had experienced at a short height.....my issues were still not about MY body image.