Miswimmy,
I think Mapleton is right, maybe you just needed to get these feelings out but not to discuss them with new t. Do you think that are scared to let her in because she is so against your ex ts treatment with you and also because you are afraid to trust her in case she leaves too?
It is so disheartening, having spent all that time with ex t, building up a relationship and trust to have someone come along and tell you it wasn't right when every part of you screams and says it was right for you at the time and just what you needed, maybe a part of you is fighting new t but wanting to trust her too??