Easily answered: yes, abandonment issues quite often result in delusional jealousy, or that has been my experience. I too have the abandonment thing and also experienced the 'I'm just not so sure about this guy' jealousy when he got close to others. I was jealous of the women, jealous of the guy wanting to be with others, male, female, robot --- none of it made sense.

This is what I learned to do: Trust what the guy is saying. (Excuse me guys here) Men aren't really smart enough to make up and keep up a lie. Just ask them whatever about what you're frightened of and then accept what he says. If you ask 'are you interested in me' and he says 'no'. Guess what, he means no.

But, you're married, and that now doesn't apply. Tell your hubby you have this 'thing' and it's based on abandonment - he'll say he's not going anywhere - therefore, believe him. Tell him you might have to ask every few weeks for a while, then it might be every couple of months, and then every year or so - but when you feel it, you're going to ask. Just be sure to tell him he's not required to do anything but answer and not be upset because you feel you need to ask. It's not about him, it's about your abandonment issues. If he understands that, he won't mind.

Then do it when you need to. And believe what you hear.

Again - sorry guys out in guy world....