I know this feeling. the denial and pretty much everything else you describe. I was diagnosed multiple times and many years before I accepted it, just recently. It's completely terrifying. But, finally accepting and going with it is working quite well for me. I feel so much better on my meds. And I have only told my parents (I'm single). Not my kids or friends or siblings. You don't have to tell everyone. Just tell yourself and your hubby. Then take it slowly.

Or just hang out here awhile. That helped me to realize that I was indeed bipolar like "these people". Then I realized they are all kinda awesome and some of my internal stigma went away. It's ok. We're ok. You aren't alone.