My Support Forums - View Single Post - Your experiences with rapid cycling hypomania

Nessa213 · Jun 27, 2013, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PumpkinEater

Because there was someone in my life who was bipolar who was a criminal and I fear becoming anything like him. It's an outrageous fear but very personal.

I'm afraid of the stigma.

I'm afraid of needing meds for the rest of my life.

I'm afraid of not being "healthy."

I'm afraid my nurse practitioner is wrong, and I'm afraid she's right.

I'm afraid of becoming addicted or physically dependent on meds. I hate taking meds.

I'm afraid that the cost of the meds could bankrupt us or make me get a job that would have health benefits (my current job doesn't offer them and I really like my current job...)

I'm afraid of what my husband would think even though he's never been anything but supportive.

I'm afraid people will think I'm making this stuff up.

And I'm so secretive about my moods that sometimes I wonder if I AM making stuff up, for attention or something. I just don't know what to trust anymore and it's kind of...no, very scary. Before I started therapy a year ago, I was a closed off box with a tightly secured lid. I don't recall having ANY emotions. Now I'm all over the place, like a de-railing train...

It's ok to be afraid. I think it's only natural. In fact, if you WEREN'T afraid at least a little bit of it I would be more concerned. But it's one of those things: it's either there or it isn't. It can be comforting to not know at all, but there's also a comfort in pin pointing the problem.

I really wouldn't trust a nurse practitioner either. But that's just me being me. I would really try to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist to get a diagnosis. Or maybe a few if you doubt it.

Meds are a tricky thing as well. Many people find ways to function without them. And I was pretty dead set against them at first. But it's a quality of life thing, and an ease of dealing with life in general. If you try them and don't like them it's always your decision to go off them as well. And if you are seeing a psychiatrist that tells you otherwise, you need to find a new one. (Again... just my opinion.)