Well, I'm married and from my perspective it's not easy. It's hard to have to let someone else in, especially when they very obviously do not understand or do not want to understand. It's very triggering for me at times. I don't even like talking about it, really. When the other person is being supportive it's better and more comfortable for everyone.

The biggers issue is other people tend to internalize when you say "I'm depressed." They think, "what am I doing wrong." They have no idea that you'd be depressed no matter where you were at that moment, alone or with people, it doesn't matter, it's not about anyone or anything except whatever is malfunctioning in our brains right then....

But, anyway. From your post I'm thinking this may not be you. I'm thinking this is this girl. You didn't say much about her but except previously she only wanted hook-ups, then she comes back, then suddenly distant. That's a red flag for me. There's something up with her and I can't say what, but I would be cautious with a girl like that.

I think we tend to blame ourselves for everything. I think we tend to look more negatively about ourselves most of the time. And, I think because of that, we're more likely to fall into toxic traps before we realize it was toxic or a trap. Just be careful.