Hi John,

I understand what you are saying about it being a solution. It is NOT the best solution. You may not believe this right now, but things will change...they always do...as Faerie said, "please hang on".

I know you may feel alone right now, but you are not really alone. You have us on PC. Is there anybody in real life that can come be with you right now?

Maybe you don't have to wait 5 days to see pdoc if you let them know it is urgent? If not, get yourself to somewhere safe.

hugs to ya John...

Please keep posting. stay connected to talking with people, don't disappear into the inward abyss. Can you focus on something outside of you? Can you go for a swim in cold water...walk on the beach (not sure if you live by one), PAINT! Use your hands to do the painting...do something with a high level of tactile stimulation to keep your mind away from the urges?