Therapy made me worse...

I signed up for group therapy through my insurance. It is dialectical therapy (cognitive+mindfulness). Well, i got there and was open to the process so I was ready to go.

The therapist did not even introduce herself, I had to ask her name. Then, it seemed like people knew each other and I didn't know anybody (felt like an outsider at first)...turns out it is an open-entry group only two of us were new, but the therapist didn't mention that until quite awhile later. It would have been nice to know that in the beginning. Then, she didn't have the handouts organized there were papers flying all over and she didn't even explain the concept she was suppose to teach. Instead, she just fielded questions from group members about topics that were already covered but didn't introduce the topics to the two newbies so I didn't know what the heck she was talking about. She was so disorganized and random...I couldn't make sense of things so I just got more and more annoyed as the session went on. Finally, at the end, I spoke up and said that I was confused, and i couldn't make sense the class and suggested she put together an overview handout for new people to follow along. Well, turns out there was one such sheet but she didn't give it to us...until I asked.

Granted I have been hypo for a couple weeks now and that day it was sort of switching over to a dysphoric feeling (now coming to a halt). So not sure if it was my state of mind that made me feel so annoyed or it was really just an annoying situation. How can you tell when you are in the midst of an episode, if it is you or your mood talking?

I felt bad about making the comments I did at the end, it was not my intention to be a jerk, but I am afraid I may have sounded that way. I did email her and explained that I was frazzled and overwhelmed. Now I have to go back next Tuesday...hopefully she will be more organized or i may malfunction again.