Quote:
Originally Posted by MdngtRain
how do you go about addressing a perceived rift in the therapeutic relationship? I go back and forth wanting to talk to him about it, but then I get scared/frustrated/anxious and I suddenly don't want to address it at all. Then I want to talk to him about it in the moment, but he is not available. It's a very push/pull thing with me. I don't like confrontation, and I feel like the rift is huge. But I don't want to just give up on therapy because of that (I don't really have anyone I can switch to seeing because not many places offer such a low sliding-scale fee). He is the only one in that office that has the reduced fee. I also really feel like I should try with him because he has worked hard to help keep me together... I know I don't communicate effectively. I know I need to learn that... but how do you overcome something that feels like such a huge and on-going issue? I really feel a lot of the time like he just doesn't understand me or what I am trying to communicate. And I don't know how to get past feeling so often misinterpreted.
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I'd just tell him what you wrote.....that you feel like you guys really aren't on the same page. I find that if you're worried about a confrontation of sorts, give the therapist a way out so that it feels less demanding or confrontational or too much like blaming.
Ex. "I feel like we're often on two different pages and I was wondering if there was maybe something I could do to explain myself better?"
a. You're telling him that you don't feel like he understands what you're saying.
b. You're not blaming him saying it's his fault so it leaves room for you two to work together to figure it out.
It comes across a lot differently than "I don't think you understand me and I want to know what you're doing to do about it."
Does that make sense?