I was up to 5 days in a row taking my Adderall, which has helped with me cutting, before I missed more doses. So when I tried to cut today (several times), I wasn't able to do even one "good" one. Most were just barely scratches, but a couple of them would have had potential. I was so upset with myself because I wanted to do damage! I ended up OD'ing on generic Tylenol. I figured that since I couldn't get a good cut as damage on the outside, that I would do the damage from the inside. It's been about 4 hours. Now I am starting to wonder how sick will I be--if I will feel about the same as I did a little over a year ago when I last did something similar. Back then, though, it was Vicodin and Tylenol together. I've had a bit more acetaminophen this time than the total amount when I did it last year.

When will I learn?! Even better, when will my life change so I can have a T and a pdoc again? My own T and pdoc. Somebody who already knows me. I don't want to start all over again.