I think the idea might be reciprocity.

It can be hard to identify when one should put ones needs aside for the needs of another... And when one should pursue ones own needs at the expense of anothers... That is a very black and white characterisation, though. Usually some sort of comprimise can be reached, but sometimes not.

Sometimes people think that they need to put aside their own needs repeatedly for others because they need to do this in order to *earn* love or respect or because they think that that is what they should do.

But then that can lead to depression or anger or frustration or resentment etc.