I find the idea of your attraction to men possibly being due to the need to look like the ideal White man interesting. I'm a woman and though I definitely identify as straight and also see myself in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex, I do notice attractive women. Perhaps even more than I notice good-looking men. And I've found that part of the reason (though not the whole reason) is that I would like to look like them. Usually the person has more going for them than looks though; they also have confidence, or some other quality I've deemed admirable. I have also developed weird "crushes" on certain women, and I don't think it's exactly a sexual thing (though it is tangled somewhat in there). It's more that I just want to BE that person. Hope that doesn't sound weird. Thought I'd throw in my 2 cents! I think what you're going through is normal though. I have also read about sexual fluidity and believe that we all lie somewhere on the spectrum.