You have a serious fear of hospitals. You've been avoiding them for years and you felt like you've been taken advantage of which isn't remotely true. It is your job to make sure you are comfortable and to know exactly what they are doing. Not all doctors tell you what they are doing because they assume you know what's going on. I didn't know that when I got my first gyno check up and I started crying when she put that thing inside me and put her finger inside me. She never told me what was happening and then she asked me if I had been raped before because I was crying so much which was embarrassing for me. But it was my fault that I didn't ask her to explain it to me.

I don't think this thread is really about fantasies, it is about your fears. I would see your therapist about it because it's not normal to be that afraid of the doctors at your age, especially now that you are at the age when you need to be seen by the gyno regularly and have things those things inserted inside you.

My initial fear of seeing the gyno was that I had never been fingered before and I was conflicted by how this affects me sexually. But I just remind myself that she is only checking to make sure that I am normal, nothing else. But yes, before I had my appointments I would have fears/fantasies that I might enjoy being touched that way.

Doctor fantasies in itself are common, but you are fantasizing because you are afraid. You are afraid of being vulnerable and that the doctor might try to seduce you or touch you inappropriately. This is something you need to see your therapist about.