Nessa, don't hate yourself. I don't hate you at all. You've been one of the most helpful people in my life within the last few months - which is when I have really, really, needed helpful people in my life. How can you hate someone who has been helping me so much through the hardest time of my life? I wish that I could make the pain stop for you.. or that you could at least get a break from it.

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My day started out with being a crying mess in the morning before I went to work. Followed by a good day at work, where I was annoyed one point due to a coworker... but that was totally legit.

Then went for a going-away dinner with the friend who told another about a one night stand I'd had. Which had the friend who was super insensitive there - and the person I'd wanted to see wasn't - but I only learned that too close to the time to go to be able to cancel.

So I went, hoping for the best - which I hoped was just going to be light conversation as I know that L (the insensitive friend) didn't know the others at the meal.

First thing out of her mouth to me was to ask if I was still angry at her - hello, but the last conversation we had was HER being mad at me!... basically... it's pretty clear that A (the friend who talked about the one-night stand) obviously went straight to her and told her EVERYTHING I'd said when I was upset and trying to understand.

Anyway. I told L that I wasn't happy but that it wasn't an appropriate time to talk about it. (Who wants to have an uncomfortable conversation when you're at dinner with people you don't know well and it's SUPPOSED to be a fare-well dinner for someone else?)

So L's response to me admitting that I wasn't happy and didn't want to talk about it right then? Was to go "Don't you want to hear my side of the story?"

Actually... I had heard your side of the story. That was the entire last conversation we had, where she told me that it wasn't the end of the world, to stop whining, that she thinks I think my issues are the end of the world, that it's not that big of a deal to talk to someone about things. That was her side. And yet I'm the one who was mad???

So I repeated that it wasn't an appropriate time to talk about things.

And then, I was basically stuck in silence because it was either silence, burst into tears, or explode. So after messaging with everyone possible (which I had been doing already because I needed a focus to calm me down even BEFORE she said anything..)....

OH! And let's point out that this conversation had happened about the time that orders were taken.

Fortunately I DO have a good friend here, and when she saw my spam of paniced texts and not being sure how to get away... said she'd come and get me right then.

So my order (fries, I couldn't stomach the idea of a meal once she'd said that) arrived.. I got it packed to go and paid for me meal. Told everyone that my friend was upset over her mom's health (which is a true stress that my friend is going through.. but it wasn't something that was going on RIGHT THEN that needed me to leave... so... I lied..)

So I fled the scene. Had a rant as soon as I got into the truck with my friend and her husband, and barely kept myself contained... I could tell by my voice that I was crying, but it wasn't at the point of actual tears.

FML.