I am a confirmed introvert, and I've always caught hell for it. I was raised (inadvertently, I'm sure) to believe that whatever trait applies to me, it is wrong and I should try to make myself the opposite instead. For example, I was a girly-girl at heart, but I was made to keep my hair short and wear slacks, when I wanted long hair and dresses. No being beautiful for me. No bows in the hair, no earrings, no lace or ruffles. Even my severely bucked teeth would never have been corrected if it weren't for the intervention of a school counselor.

On top of that, I had what I considered a boy's name. It's actually unisex, but I can think of many more well-known men who have it than women. (Robin Givens and Robin Wright vs. Robin Williams, Robin Leach, Robin Thicke, Robin Gibb, Robin Zander, Robin Hood, Batman & Robin, Christopher Robin....) Then came the overheard comments, where my mother would be praising up my tomboy classmates, admiring how well they can run and climb trees, while I was anything but athletic. All of this combined to send me the message that I wasn't acceptable as a girly-girl. They wanted me to be a tomboy--and then criticized me for not being ladylike. ???

I was intellectual and quick to learn, but that didn't impress anybody. I could bring home all the straight A's I wanted. All I'd hear was, "You're book smart, but you don't have any common sense." Or, "If you're so smart, how come you can't figure out...." Or, "It says here you daydream a lot." (Yes, because the work was boring and I wasn't being challenged.) Any social faux pas, or any lack of knowledge about some matter such as sports trivia, brought a rousing, "You are so DUMB!" OK, then, so much for me being intelligent.

Even being well-behaved and obedient didn't get me any brownie points. Oh, the adults usually liked me for it, but then they were always telling the other children they should be more like Robin, because she never talks in class and always does as she's told, so naturally the kids hated me for it.

And, I was introverted. Still am. Didn't fly with my extrovert mother. She could NOT understand why I wasn't running for school elections, going out with friends all the time, dating every week. And what's this about not going to your senior prom? You're missing out on life, girl!

So I tried to be a tomboy, tried to misbehave, started smoking, drinking, and cussing like a sailor by the time I was 12 so I wouldn't be a goody-two-shoes, tried to be a social butterfly and join every possible club... and failed miserably because everyone could see through my act. Not only did it never get me any dates, but it always led to the inevitable "just be yourself" speech.

Well, I could be myself, or I could be what my family expected of me, but not both.