Thanks for the video, that was pretty insightful.
I can understand why you'd find the beginning triggering. The book "I hate you, don't leave me" I found pretty triggering myself, which sounded really mean at times.

There were a few things I noticed that were quite interesting.
Such as how borderlines have a need for others to 'regulate' their emotions and how we have no idea how to regulate them and that is why we tend to do impulsive things or self-destructive behavior. And how we really need to get these unregulated feelings out or else we end up obsessing about it and picking every thing apart. I thought that was a social anxiety thing, but now I realize it is also a borderline tendency to focus on all the details of your interactions.

I also like how the psychologist mentioned that the tragedy with not being able to regulate your emotions is that others tend to focus on that instead of the point that we are making when we are angry, upset or sad. They treat us as if we are supposed to be able to regulate them and focus on what's "excessive" and "inappropriate", which makes us feel worse, because we are told that, yes, you CAN regulate your emotions, you just don't want to. Instead it is best for friends, family or your loved one to validate what you are saying that makes sense because that makes you calm down and not out of the blue feel even worse about yourself. I definitely recognize this in my emotional life all the time. Even though that of course I know people are also supposed to set boundaries, but maybe more in the sense of if you are acting out, like I don't know, smashing your things?

The last thing I noticed was also that the woman with borderline mentioned that she didn't think you could call what people with borderline does or says as 'manipulation', because we do not plan out ways to gain attention or other. It is a desperate, uncalculated thing that we do and I totally agree. I guess you can only call it manipulation in the sense that you are trying to make another person, say, stay with you or validate your emotions, but it's not manipulation in the normal sense that you are have selfish, ill intentions.

Those are the things I picked out from the video, maybe it can be interesting for others who don't have the time to watch the whole thing.