Oh Sprik, I am sorry you are feeling so sad, angry, lonely. Things feel never-ending sometimes, but that is not true. Things can change, and will. In the lonely moments, remember you have us here. In the sad and angry moments feel what you need to, get it out and then follow it up with finding something you respect about yourself. Forget what anybody else in your life has told you if it has been negative. Let the negative voices go away and just hear your own beauty for a moment. If you can. If not, distract yourself somehow but don't get into the event-horizon of the couch. (hugs))