Asia,

I know that some of what your T is doing is working for you. I also like the idea of looking for another T who may be a better fit. There are therapists who have firm but flexible boundaries according to what you need at any given point, that may be more helpful to you. It wouldn't be as close as your first therapist, and wouldn't be as far away as your current therapist. I don't really know the answers, but these were just my thoughts.