I am now on lamictal. I took the first pill almost immediately before I chickened out. Now part of me feels safer already...like I'm on the right path again. Hurray, placebo effect. I'm sure the pill hasn't even hit my actual stomach yet...

I have been in touch with my therapist and am feeling more like it's the right thing to do right now. I am not sure how much longer I could last being that chronically suicidal. I also need a nap. Exhausted from all the crying in the past 24 hours.

Thanks for your support, folks.