Brook people with aspurgers often speak with out thinking. They do not have the ability to think of others. Hormones at his age make aspurgers worse at times. He has his own pain and loss. Grief often comes out in anger especially if one does not know how to deal with grief. I am so sorry your son is aiming his frustrations towards you. Most likely it has nothing to do with you. It is just frustration and anger displaced. I have an aspie in my house hold who does the same thing. He calls me names. Names he has heard his dad call me. He doesn't know that it is wrong to call people such serious bad names. He is of no help and cannot understand why the world treats him as they do. But he can be very rude at times, and not even know it.

I understand that his words and maybe even actions hurt you. Of course they do. At one time you have T's helping you threw things, talk to them about how his words hurt you. Read all you can about aspeis. You are a smart and intelligent man and you deserve so much. Hope fully your sons feelings will settle down and he will stop using you as a verbal punching bag.