I think there could be a wide variety of reasons you still don't feel quite like yourself. Are you saying that you have not experienced this spiritual awakening and therefore that's why you think the episode did not complete itself?

But you do raise a very interesting topic in general. I've personally experienced things that gave me a certain belief structure at that time in my life. I was absolutely convinced that things were a certain way because of what I saw, what I experienced. Now knowing what I know about psychosis and delusions I actually find myself saddened. I have not experienced such things in several years and I question whether they ever happened at all or if it was only within my own mind. I find this thought quite depressing.

To me, it was something that gave me hope and life in a way. To think that it was only part of an illness... that's just flat out unfortunate.