After one and 1/2 year of being separated, I got divorced about a month ago. I've been feeling so sad, depressed, angry, lonely. I'm terrified there's no hope for me in the future. I'm 38 years old and although to the outside, it looks like I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do to get over this pain (exercise, going to church, talking to friends, having a busy job), I can't get to feel better. I don't want to live like this. Last year, when I left home, I was so ready to move on because I thought what I had wasn't the life I wanted. I started dating, and in one year I had three people coming to my life. None of those relationships worked. They left me feeling worse about myself. I never lost contact with my ex husband, because he always represented everything to me: protection, love, stability. He was like everything to me. I was always very impulsive/ explosive and insecure about him. One day, he went out with his family and friends(one of his exes was there). He didn't take me with him, so I lost it. I was so upset that I threw a big fist in front of everybody.

I tried everything after that to save my marriage. Therapy, still loving him...but he was out of it. I finally met a guy and the rest is history. Now, nobody around. My ex still talking to me, but not wanting to get back together. I feel in hell. This is my worst nightmare. Being alone. I don't know what to do. My friends don't know what to do. Therapy doesn't help anymore and church doesn't have to be enough. I'm feeling really hopeless that things are going to get better. I've had my ups and downs, and now I'm in a big down. I'm terrified.

Has anybody gone through anything like this. Does anything help?? I feel unmotivated and without any control over this situation.