I think that how you feel is how you feel, and that you have to accept this before you can change it. Why do you think that t thinks she is a failure? If you graph healing, it isn't always an uphill slope, it goes up and down, and that is normal. I think that you are putting too much pressure on yourself to make progress as you see it, and maybe accepting that progress can mean returning to old issues again and again, and that this is a part of the process of healing

T told you why you are so heartbroken and can't get over your x? Was she putting it in the perspective of your past? Just wondering, only answer if you want to do so.

Sorry about the phone calls and the next patient, it sounds like a stressful session. When do you see her again.

BTW, I have not figured out how to deal with my stuff on a day to day basis, it can feel like torture. Keep posting. Sending you tons of hugs!

No one else can definitively tell you about yourself, they can only give their opinion; only you can figure out and "know" about yourself and that has to happen in your own time/way. Some of your feeling overwhelmed sounds, to me, as if your T gave you a lot of stuff, not necessarily about "you" but for you to think about and see what you want to do with.

That's all we can do with other people's thoughts/words, the same as we should be doing with our own thoughts and feelings; listening and thinking about them and deciding what we want to do with them.

If I were you, I would move to paper and write down as much about today's session, the way it comes to you and is comfortable. If I were you, for example, I'd be listing things like mad;

1. T thinks I am heartbroken because ________
2. T thinks I am having trouble getting over my ex because _______
3. I think I need to work on not using the word "can't" (I started by adding the word "yet" to the end of those sentences that I wanted to write as "can't") But I am pretty sure your T does not use the word "can't" but was telling you why you "have trouble" or "difficulty" getting over your ex, so far (or "yet")).
4. I would like to make a list of what T said that makes sense and why and what still puzzles me
5. I think I might not be gay because ___________; other people (T?) have told me I may be because _____________
6. I think T believes and said I should just "try to be happy" but that does not make sense because I believe one "is"/"is not" happy/unhappy so either I don't understand what "try" means in this case or there's some other misunderstanding of mine or T's we should discuss
7. I feel T thinks she is a failure because of my actions
8. I am annoyed that T told me this whole mess at once today and had phone calls and her next client came early.

Then I'd feel relieved because it was all out there instead of swirling around in my head making my head hurt and I could go do something else instead of thinking about it all the time, maybe think about one thing a day or just take the whole thing to T next session and ask her to pick one to discuss, etc.