I’m living in a hell where I’m judged by every move I make. The only salvation I have at this point is my room.

My girlfriend left me for a few reasons, the main one being the way my parents interact with me, or rather the way i interact with my parents. I miss her so much, but I understand her decision. Me loving her means her happiness is of utmost importance.

But still, I want to hold my girlfriend and be around her positivity without having to dread the way my parents react to me not being around, or that I’m making changes in my life they don’t like.

I am sick of being belittled by them, I’m sick of them holding money over my head. I’ve been very fortunate to have had a lot of things paid for me. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful, but in emotionally I’ve been independent of them for years.

People tell me “They’re your parents, you should love them, look at how much they’ve done for you". I’m sick of hearing it. I’m called an idiot and stupid all the time, especially “what’s wrong with you?", when I have one small mental lapse. I am not a ****ing perfect person, I’d like to be forgiven for the small things I do wrong in life. I forgive others for their small mistakes.

They say I’m selfish when I stand up for myself, when I say “I can’t spend time with you because I feel constantly judged and patronized by you". They’re upset, but so am I. I need my own mental peace, Or else I lash out at them when they scream at me, and no one wants that.

I want to move out more than ever. I don’t have the money right now to do so, but when I do I want out, and I want financial independence. When I’m far enough away, I can make the decision whether to make them a part of my life. Maybe if I leave they will leave me alone and stop judging me, then I can have some peace to live my life, be with who I love and be happy.

I happen to like who I am. I am a kind, smart, and compassionate person. My confidence is growing, and when it gets there, hopefully their shortcomings in life projected onto me won’t pass my confidence barrier. I would be able to speak to them in a forgiving but firm way without feeling bitter and resentful. I want that; i want to be a person full of love that doesn’t let nonsense like that shake who I am. I’m starting to feel it.

I'm having a hard time not resenting my parents for my girlfriend leaving me She still supports me but she says she only can as a friend right now, but I still miss seeing her. Being at her house was so peaceful, her family is so warm and wonderful (Not to say thats the only reason I'm sad, but It just makes me feel more alone). I have no siblings and I feel tremendously alone right now. Anything would help, thanks.

I am 20 and back from university, going into 3rd year in fall.