Try expressing your feelings a different way to your parents. You said they got upset when you said “I can’t spend time with you because I feel constantly judged and patronized by you". You used the words "I feel" but you didn't express any feelings, you passed a judgement upon them instead, about them judging and patronizing you. That is what upset them and blocked the communication. Using an I feel statement would have gone over better. I feel frustrated when I am patronized and judged because I am a smart compassionate human being capable of making my own decisions. What I would like is to spend time with other people who are supportive of me. This method doesn't place judgment on your parents. it is simply stating your feelings and your needs and making a request. I feel__________when______because_____what I would like is_______. it is a simple format for communication. be careful not to use the word you in the formula or you can be setting up blocks to communication and putting people on the defensive. good luck!