Kaliope has good advice but I don't agree with her writing "...so you do not repeat the same mistake." What was the mistake? There was no mistake. Relationships can simply fall apart. Regret is detrimental.
Cataleya, I also went through something similar, though I left of my own accord. I'm alone and it's scary, but my general support system is weak. It sounds like yours is better. Even though you've been separated for a while, the actual act of having the divorce finalized brings so much pain, I've learned. People say it will take a while to regain equilibrium. I've learned this in a divorce support group. Have you ever been to one? What you are going through is normal, Cataleya.