feeling stressed has turned into feeling hysterical. Going long periods of time without talking to the one person I consider a "close friend" makes me feel like we're not even close at all, and I don't have him that means I have no one...and there go my abandonment issues. I feel like a small child who's freaking out after being left alone without their parent. I just want to feel connected to someone and that someone depends on me and wants or needs my companionship. I want to be able to share all my stories with someone. I have all these things I want to talk about but I just am alone and have no one to talk to everyday. I know its bad when I start fantasizing about how my friend might react if I did something to hurt myself, or fantasizing about sending an email saying that he's a ***** friend and how it makes me feel. He's agreed to meet me today and that made me feel immediately calmer.