I don't have to wash my hands the moment I touch something dirty. I can go all day without washing, but I have to keep track of anything I "contaminate" so I can clean that later, too. I feel dirty no matter how long I go without washing. Exposure therapy I've done myself has only been successful to a limited point. None of my pdocs or psychologists have done it. They just give me meds.

The problem with charcoal isn't so much the material, but the fact that it's in a school. I have come a long way--my boyfriend can attest to that--and I didn't used to be able to handle going to college, but I found more successful meds and worked my way through some things, so now I'm taking the opportunity to go.

I already get disability. As for the books, I try to buy new.

I didn't choose all art classes. I chose drawing because I want to improve my abilities. I was signed up for graphic arts, but it turned out to be different than what I thought it was, so I dropped out. I'm signed up to learn web graphics and animation, though. I'd love to be able to do computer art. At home, as long as I had enough space to work (which I don't, except for drawing in a sketchbook, but I don't have room for an easel or to store paints), the art supplies don't leave me feeling dirty. It's just at college or in certain other places.