That is wierd how you can be doing well on the outside and still feel like a failure. I get that too. Somehow it doesn't feel okay to succeed - I guess I'm failing at being a failure, which had been my defined role in life. Isn't that nuts? The feeling is real though.

Keep on hanging in there, and you can PM me any time. I'm a little frazzled and out of it these days because I'm moving and trying to wrap up my old job and tie up loose ends, and find a new one (driving back and forth - 4-hours each way - for interviews) and keep up with school (have to double up starting next week to catch up with the class where I'm moving to). So I might not see every post on the boards, and might not be fast writing back, but if you PM or email me I will read it and will respond when I can.

Love,
Rap

p.s. I hereby give you permission to be successful, no matter what anybody else thinks!