Holidays are tougher, I know.

I hope you have been able to work on the guilt, as you don't deserve it. Things always become 20-20 with hindsight. But you know? You were doing the best you could. YOU WERE doing the best you could at the time. You didn't think, well, I'm going to laze and let her fall so she can die. OF COURSE NOT! Please realize it's normal to second guess, but it isn't healthy. She is fine now. She wouldn't want you to feel bad.