Then you need to look at your own behaviour, sorry! If the toast is wrong, and wasting food is wrong, then simply stop making it. If you can't 'win' for trying and being kind, at least the anger or stroppy behaviour when you do not try is less effort on your behalf and it may stop some of your resentment. Same with the text over the home, I hope you pointed out that you reminded him and in the past he told you to but out. He needs to understand he's acting like a spoilt person.

Sounds like you are in a no-win situation here, with you giving everything and it still not being enough. Not being able to discuss stuff is so very unhelpful because the ability to communicate is one of the most important ingredients to a happy and healthy relationship. You walking on eggshells isn't good.. and him behaving like a child when he hears something he doesn't want to hear is even worse.

Please tell me his good points, because I can't see any yet from what you write. There has to be some reason you stay with him?

More hugs!