EBD8- Recovery/treatment isn't fun and you will be uncomfortable for much of it, but I, as I assume many others here, can attest that it is totally worth it in the end! Every human being ever has been able to handle being uncomfortable, many of us, especially those of with bipolar, would rather not, so we go to whatever our vice is. It sucks but you can do it!

And, I feel ya. I still hate talking about feelings, and still rarely do outside those I'm REALLY close to and medical staff. ****, 'feelings' was a word that didn't exist while I was in the Marines. It's taken a lot of intestinal fortitude on my part to get over that, but it has allowed me to overcome my addiction and get the proper medical care I need. To echo what I said above- I fully believe in you!

Feel free to PM if you would like any info or links on any of the secular, science-based sobriety organizations I've come across. I feel like a snake oil salesman, but the rehab I went to was based off one and I fully stand behind it. They offer free online meetings because face-to-face meetings are scarce right now.

Good luck!