I get what you're saying. It seems like it is really hard for anyone to understand unless they've been through something similar.

That said, you do eventually have to choose to change. I don't want to leave the house. I'd rather spend all day in bed, but I know that if I want a different life, i have to do certain things. I have to take meds. I have to go to therapy. I have to keep working. Without these things, my life falls apart.