I recently came across one of my old journals too (mine was from 1998 when I was in high school). Very classic bipolar it was almost shocking. Even way I KEPT the journal was bipolar. If I was having a good day I'd write in it from the front going back. But it was all random stuff: sketches, movie quotes, phrases in French, things like that. But if I was having a bad day I'd write in the journal from the back going forward and it was all dark depressing stuff. Suicidal poetry... talking about visions or death. I even wrote one poem that said that my life was like a hallway with a lot of different doors. And on any given day I'd never which door I'd go in, or WHO I was going to be that day.

Finding it was literally shocking. There's something about the realization that we've been likethis for a lot longer than we thought that almost stings us a little bit.