It's been said many times that there is no such thing as 'gay' or 'straight', that we are all truly some combination, whether it's 99% straight and 1% gay or something else. When I was young I only made out with girls. Then I started making out with guys. Then I started having sex with guys. Then I started having sex with girls. Then girls and guys. (I'm female.) Now I'm engaged to a woman. I came out as bisexual about 4 1/2 years ago, and I have identified primarily as pansexual or queer (because I'm a people person; I don't limit it to gender), but the truth is I have no idea what I am. It changes all the time. I'm not sure if you have an attachment to an opposite-sex partner because you want children, because you want an 'ideal' relationship, or if there's some other reason. It sounds like you might, maybe, kinda-sorta, be attracted to men but you don't really know and don't really think so. But you've been turned on by gay porn and/or the idea of being with a man in the past. Prior to meeting my current partner, there was a period of about 8 years where I hadn't been with a woman and I didn't find them attractive at all. In fact, the whole time I was sleeping with them I didn't ever look at a woman and think, Geez, I wanna sleep with her, or Geez I wanna kiss her. But I did kiss and sleep with them, and it was great. I still don't ever really look at people - any people - and feel an overwhelming attraction. But sometimes someone catches my eye and I go, Woah.
My bottom line here is: I can understand your feeling of needing help. I have felt that way in the past. I often talk to my fiancee about how I feel about being in a lesbian relationship but not identifying as queer (because I don't; not really. I identify as 'me'.). You are you. We all have weird little quirks and quarks. It's what makes us all so darn sexy and loveable and frustrating and endearing. I would just embrace whatever comes and follow your natural instincts. Sure, be curious. But I wouldn't be too analytical or hard on yourself. We like what we like. It doesn't always make sense. So often I wish I was just either 'gay' or 'straight'. I feel like it would help me have more of a clear self-identity. But I'm not. I'm all over the map with my sexuality. And it's okay.