I am a white woman and I find women attractive, and, like you, my eyes somehow discriminate based on race even though I am not a racist on any conscious level but quite the opposite. I find some White women attractive, oftentimes find East Indian women attractive, some African American women... very rarely Asian women (but do, at times, find them attractive).

Sexually, I am 150% straight (not by choice, obviously) in that I cannot even imagine doing anything physical with a woman and the mere thought of contact with, ahem, bodily fluids of a woman or her private anatomy or any of that... I never even try to imagine what it would be like - my mind and imagination stop there. But esthetically I find women attractive and appreciate the sensuality and sexuality I see in them A LOT. But, no touching. Absolutely no touching - I can appreciate from a distance and that is it.

My mother told me that I had a boyfriend in preschool, with caresses and all, but I do not remember that far back. I do remember various relationships with boys (nothing genital but lots of action, oral and written love confessions and all of that) starting in first grade. Always boys. No girls.

I sometimes find men attractive, but never find them as attractive, esthetically, as women. Not by a long shot. But I do have all sorts of relationships with them, while acknowledging that somehow god or whatever or whoever did not give them as much physical attractiveness or esthetic beauty as he / she/ it/ they/ whatever gave women.

I would love to be like spondiferous and just relate to every individual person as a unique individual not based on gender, but I cannot - I am the way I am.

I am afraid that you are also the way you are and it cannot be much helped by your admirable cognitive attempts.