I've suspected bipolar since age 16 or 17 really... so it's not really a surprise when the psychiatrist agreed.

I can't really check my old diaries - the ones I wrote in the most are gone (they were online). I still have my livejournal, but I didn't write nearly as much in it about my day to day life. And mostly my journals were for writing about stressful things and depression; I was never very good at documenting things when I was in a good mood.

I do, however, have all the poetry I wrote. Some of them are just plain odd! Some are really depressing, and others well... others you can really see the manic side.

For example:

(Sorry for the length! This one was 2004 or 2003)
Flying high, oh so high,
Glancing at the lives below.
Flying high, oh so high,
Wondering where my life will go.

Thinking fast, oh so fast,
Thoughts rushing through my head.
Thinking fast, oh so fast,
Some are wishing I was dead.

Falling hard, oh so hard,
The landing breaks my heart.
Falling hard, oh so hard,
I don't know where to start.

Breaking down, oh so down,
I curl up in a ball.
Breaking down, oh so down,
Why am I so small.

Lying still, oh so still,
Never wanting to arise.
Lying still, oh so still,
Vain are all my tries.

Or this (from 2001):

Exploding forth from deep within,
rapid and constant,
a hasty burst of babble.

Speech streaming, while thoughts are thinking,
unconscious and unheeded,
unaware of the chatter.

A preoccupied mind, the ramble continues,
pointless and unimportant,
an efficient facade.

Diligently serving the purpose,
determind and effective,
providing time for a decision.

Hearing conversations, though not listening,
intentionanl yet accidental,
already overflown.

Appearing aloof, but carefully observing,
beneficial yet damaging,
a reflective nature.

Passing off compliments and insults,
unwanted yet helpful,
giving knowledge for improvement.

Refraining from dealing out and taking in,
undesired yet badly needed,
always ending restless and exhausted.

LOL.